What Women Want

Nick Marshall: Buns of steel... I'd steal her buns if I could.

Nick Marshall: Have you ever done that, taken the wrong road? Of course not, you wouldn't do that, somebody like me does that.

Nick Marshall: I can see elegant parties...

Darcy McGuire: You can see all that?

Nick Marshall: Well, maybe you're naked and I'm the only guest, but it's still elegant.

Nick Marshall: I realize I haven't been the perfect dad.

Alex Marshall: Understatement of the century.

Nick Marshall: It's never too late to do the right thing. That's what I'll do, I'll go over there and do the right thing.

Nick Marshall: No games.

Darcy McGuire: Just sports.

Nick Marshall: Okay, gotta think like a broad, gotta think like a broad... okay. I'm a broad...

[closes his eyes]

Nick Marshall: I see... lipstick. On a Tahitian beauty under a waterfall, wearing nothing by a thong, cold water cascading down her ba...

Nick Marshall: [his eyes pop open] I'm a lesbian!

Nick Marshall: Okay, now, we apply the hot wax to the hairy area.

[puts glob of wax on his leg]

Nick Marshall: Oh oh, hot, hot, hot! Okay, okay... next... we apply the cloth strip onto the waxed area.

[pats down the strip over the wax]

Nick Marshall: [lifts his eyebrows] Hey, that actually feels kinda nice. Dunno why women hate waxing their legs. Okay, in one smooth motion, pull strip in the opposite direction of the growth. That's up, so... 1, 2, 3!

[yanks off the cloth]

Nick Marshall: Ooowwwww!

Nick Marshall: [impersonating Sean Connery after seeing him in a film] Adversary? Surely you mean *adversary*, old boy?

Nick Marshall: [singing along to music] I'm a bitch, I'm a mother, I'm her brother, It's a charmer as I volumize my hair, I am not aware.