Tiny Furniture

Ashlynn: So I am going to introduce you to this boy Jed. He is little bit famous, in like an internet kind of way.

Ashlynn: [on Aura's youtube video] I saw that your dyslexic stripper video got like 400 hits!

Keith: How are things?

Aura: Um. I'm really tired. I took three klonopin and woke up next to a spoon full of peanut butter.

Keith: These guys are such fucking dirt bags, man. I'm just sitting there, trying to read my book, and they're all crowded around watching "cum omelette" on someone's iPhone.

Aura: What is "cum omelette"?

Keith: A porn video.

Aura: What happens in it?

Keith: Pretty self explanatory.

Siri: Do you have the same sense of entitlement as my daughter.

Charlotte: Oh believe me, mine is much worse.

Siri: ...Poems are a very stupid thing to be good at. Poems are basically like dreams. Something everybody likes to tell other people but stuff that nobody actually cares about when its not their own.

Siri: You get him out of our house.

Aura: What?

Siri: I want him out of my house!

Aura: He's not doing anything! He's only been in my room!

Siri: He is in the laundry room mixing lights and darks!

Aura: I have no experience.

Charlotte: It's absolutely fine. On my resume under "skills", I put "has a landline".

Aura: I just got off a plane from Ohio. I am in a post-graduate delirium.

Aura: [on why her ex-boyfriend went to Colorado] Something about building a shrine to his ancestors out of a dying tree.