The Whole Nine Yards

Jimmy: But just so you know, I am disappointed, Oz. I am extremely disappointed with you.

Oz: Believe me, you are the last person I would ever want to disappoint, but everything I everything I did, was for love.

Jimmy: Yeah, whatever.

Jimmy: Everyone dies.

Oz: [looks worried]

Jimmy: Sooner or later.

Jimmy: Every red-blooded American knows that the only condiment that you are ever supposed to put on a hamburger is KETCHUP! Or MAYBE some of that SPECIAL SAUCE you like so much here in Canada; which I think has a little bit of mayonnaise in it too! But I swear to God when they start slapping that mayonnaise on there I could kill somebody.

Jimmy: Friends do not engage in sexual congress with each other's wives.

Jimmy: I'm gonna keep the coke and the fries but I'm gonna send this burger back. And if you put any mayonnaise on it, I'm gonna come over to your house, I'll chop your legs off, set fire to your house, and watch as you drag your bloody stumps out the door.

[after a beat, the waiter turns to Oz]

Oz: I'm fine.

[the waiter leaves, and Jimmy starts laughing]

Jimmy: Fine? Let me tell you something, Oz. You are *not* fine. Do you know your wife wants you dead?

Oz: [tugs off his wedding ring] That much I've figured out.

Jimmy: I'm telling you this like a friend because if you screw this up - I would hate to... I would really hate to have to kill you. I would hate it more than mayonnaise. You know how much I hate mayonnaise.

Jimmy: I take it you're not Canadian.

Oz: Only by marriage.

Jimmy: It's not important how many people I've killed. What's important is how I get along with the people who are still alive.

Jimmy: My wife? You shtupped my wife, Oz?

Oz: I wouldn't exactly phrase it that way, exactly...

Jimmy: [with increasing anger] No, no, no! Let me get this straight. You went down to Chicago and engaged in sexual CONGRESS with my wife? Is that what you're telling me?

Jill St. Claire: Jimmy, Jimmy, calm down!

Jimmy: [now livid] IS IT? I SWEAR TO GOD...!

[Jill takes the phone from Jimmy]

Oz: [to Cynthia] He's a little upset. I've managed to upset a mass murderer.


[into phone]


[Jill takes the phone away]

Jimmy: It's a DISGRACE...

Jill St. Claire: [into phone] Oz, you stud, you!

Frankie Figs: Gonna be a DEAD stud.

Jimmy: [after finding out Oz slept with his wife] I'll tell you one thing. You got balls.

Oz: Yeah. Who knew?