The Sweetest Thing
Christina: Don't go looking for Mr. Right. Look for Mr. Right Now.
Christina: Ew! What is that?
Courtney: What is what?
Christina: You don't smell that?
Courtney: Smell what? I don't smell anything.
Christina: Oh Jesus! You're used to it, and that's, that's what's really scary!
Courtney: I don't smell anything!
Christina: It smells like moldy ass is what it smells like in here!
Courtney: Wait a minute, come to think of it, I did leave some ass in the back.
Christina: You did!
Courtney: I did, about a week a ago. I did, it's the ass! It must be the ass!
Christina: How are you stuck?
Andy: I have a piercing...
[the entire crowd recoils in shock]
San Francisco Policeman #2: I don't get it, how are they stuck?
Male bystander: [smiles] Behind her tonsils
San Francisco Policeman #2: How do you know that?
Christina: I got a penis in my eye.
Courtney: Let me see.
Christina: How is it? Is it okay?
Courtney: Yeah, it's okay, but I think you're pregnant.
Christina: I wasn't suggesting that the two of you get married, I just thought maybe you could get it on!
Christina: [Reading] Follow the yellow brick road? Huh! I'm following the yellow brick road... following the yellow brick...
Christina: [Comes across a picture of a dog with a hole in its mouth, she gasps] MUFFY! You look like my old doggy Muffy! What's in your mouth? What's in your mouth?
Christina: What do you got in there?
[looks into the hole]
Man in the Glory Hole: Surprise!
Christina: Wanna hear some poetry? There once was a man from Bandoo. Who fell asleep in a canoe. He dreamed of Venus and played with his penis and woke up with a hand full of goo!
Christina: You're too big to fit in here...
[covers her front]
Courtney: Too big to fit in HERE...
Courtney: OW! Unh!
Jane: Too big to fit in here...
[covers mouth and moans]
Christina: [Patrons begin playing music and drumming on things] Oh, my God!
Courtney: Oh my god, we are in Fame right now!
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] What a lovely ride
Jane: Your penis is a thrill!
Christina: Your penis is a Cadillac!
Courtney: A giant Coupe DeVille!
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load.
Courtney: And when it makes delivery...
Christina: It needs its own zip code! Nine-double zero PENIS!
Christina, Courtney: Jane! JANEYYY!
Jane: Sorry you guys, I'm really busy and...
Christina, Courtney: Hey, wait, Jane
[they begin singing]
Christina, Courtney: "Do you like Pina Coladas? And getting caught in the rain...?"
Jane: [Watches her boyfriend in his mascot outfit topple down a flight of stairs] ... shit!
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All Singing] What a lovely ride!
Jane: Your penis is a thrill!
Christina: Your penis is a Cadillac
Jane: A giant Coupe DeVille!
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] Your penis packs a wallop, your penis brings a load!
Christina: And when it makes delivery...
Christina, Jane, Courtney: [All singing] It needs its own zipcode
Christina: Nine-Double Zero, Penis!