Rose Schwartz: Actors don't like to play coma. They feel it limits their range.

Rose Schwartz: I'm looking at crawdad butts, cover 'em up!

Rose Schwartz: The guy was killed in an auto accident! I looked it up! He was driving in the Yukon, in a pink convertible, to visit his brother who's an ex-con named Frances, when a tractor trailer comes along and decapitates him. You know what that mean, it means he doesn't have a head. How am I suppose to write for a guy who doesn't have a head? He's got no lips, no vocal cords. What do you want me to do?

Rose Schwartz: You know, I'd think you were acting, but you've never been this good.

Ariel Maloney: New boy in town?

Jeffrey Anderson: Just got off the choo-choo... you have lovely eyes.

Ariel Maloney: They're nothing compared to my tits! You should come up and see them sometime!

Ariel Maloney: [after seeing Montana on the Enquirer, angry in tears] Bitch!

Ariel Maloney: Why, Bolt! I didn't realize you were here.

Bolt: Well... I am.

Jeffrey Anderson: Don't call me Mr. Loman! My name is Anderson! Anderson! ANDERSON!

Jeffrey Anderson: I hope you're wearing underwear. Dare I ask?

Celeste Talbert: I'm lost. I'm not familiar with the neighborhood.

Jeffrey Anderson: Well you get a nice view of it from up here.

Jeffrey Anderson: Lori, get your clothes on! Your aunt's here.

Celeste Talbert: You lowlife, lecherous-Lori?

Jeffrey Anderson: She left ten minutes ago.

Celeste Talbert: Don't insult my intelligence.