Shrek Forever After

Puss in Boots: Feed me, if you dare.

Princess Fiona: And when the smoke clears... Wait, what's this?

Cookie: That's my chimichanga stand.

Princess Fiona: Um, no, Cookie. We won't be needing that.

Cookie: Trust me, Fiona. Y'all gonna be really hungry after this ambush, OK? Now go and finish your little speech.

Shrek: Fiona, I know everything about you, I know you sing so beautifully that birds explode. I know that when you sign your name, you put a heart over the i. I know that when you see a shooting star you cross your fingers on both hands, squinch up your nose, and you make a wish, I know that you don't like the covers wrapped around your feet, and I know that you sleep by candlelight because every time you close your eyes, you're afraid you're going to wake up back in that tower, But most importantly Fiona, I know that the reason that you turn human every day is because you've never been kissed, well, by me.

Shrek: Okay, I know you don't remember me but we're married, and at the birthday party with some pigs and a puppet, the villagers wanted me to sign their pitchforks and this boy kept saying 'do the roar! do the roar!' Then I punched the cake that the pigs ate, and the next thing I knew, my donkey fell in your waffle hole.

Shrek: Sorry, but this order's to go.

Cookie: But I haven't taken out his gibblets yet.

Shrek: Trust me, you don't want to eat this one.

Donkey: I go down smooth, but I come out fightin'!

Shrek: [to Fiona; while disappearing since his "day" is almost over] You know what the best part of today was? I got the chance to fall in love with you all over again.

Shrek: [upon seeing the obese Puss] Puss, what happened to you? You got so fa...

[Puss gives a stinky look]

Shrek: fa... ncy!

Puss in Boots: Do I know you?

Shrek: Where's your hat? Where's your belt? Your wee little boots?

Puss in Boots: Boots? For a cat? Ha!

Shrek: But you're Puss in Boots.

Puss in Boots: Maybe once. But that is a name I have outgrown.

Shrek: That's not the only thing you've outgrown.

Puss in Boots: Hey! I may have let myself go a little since my retirement, but hanging up my sword was the best decision of my life. I have all the cream I can drink and all the mice I can chase.

[a mouse runs up and drinks from Puss' bowl]

Puss in Boots: Eh. I'll get him later.

Shrek: There's a stack of freshly made waffles in the middle of the forest! Don't you find that a wee bit suspicious?

Donkey: And I thought the waffle fairy was just a bedtime story!

Donkey: Are my kids cute or do they make people uncomfortable?