No Strings Attached

Alvin: Come on. Hit me!

Adam: What? No. I'm not going to hit you. I don't want to hurt you.

Alvin: You're not going to hurt me. Come on!

[flexes]

Alvin: Come on, quick before I get a hernia!

Alvin: How long have you two been together?

Emma: Oh, we're not.

Adam: We're sex friends.

Emma: Yes we are.

Adam: Friends with benefits. Fuck buddies.

Alvin: [surprised] Great Scott!

Alvin: Let's smoke some weed!

Alvin: She's just so hot.

Adam: I know how hot she is.

Vanessa: [peeking out into the hallway] That's really sweet, thanks guys!

Adam: Fuck you!

Alvin: We don't get to pick who we fall in love with, and it doesn't happen like it should.

Alvin: When you're married and you do blow, try to stay away from women who want to fuck you. Even ugly women. Blow is blind, Adam. Blow is blind.

Adam: You're an asshole.

Alvin: But you're not. You got a good heart, Adam. Try to keep it.

Emma: Adam, you're wonderful. If you're lucky you're never gonna see me again.

Emma: Congrats? For what, having sex with you?

Adam: You did a good job, so... I thought you deserved a balloon.

Emma: Don't list me as your emergency contact. I won't come.

Adam: Isn't that against your Hypocratic Oath?

Emma: Yeah. I'd let you die!

Emma: Do you wanna do this?

Adam: Do what?

Emma: Use each other for sex, at all hours of the day and night. Nothing else.

Adam: Yeah, I could do that.

Emma: Good. It's gonna be fun.