Django Unchained

Calvin Candie: Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen, and you, you old decrepit bastard are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?

Calvin Candie: Dr. Schultz, in Greenville, you yourself said that for the right nigger you'd be willing to pay what some may consider is a ridiculous amount. To which me myself said "What is your definition of ridiculous?" To which you said "$12,000." Now, considering y'all have ridden a whole lot of miles...

[Candie aggressively grabs Broomhilda's head, she whimpers as Django looks on intensively]

Calvin Candie: ... went through a whole lot of trouble...

[Candie continues holding Broomhilda's head, and starts rubbing her face]

Calvin Candie: ... and done spread a whole lot of bull to purchase this lovely lady right here, it would appear that Broomhilda is in fact the right nigger. And if y'all wanna leave Candyland with Broomhilda, the price... is $12,000.

Dr. King Schultz: And I take it you prefer the take it or leave it style of negotiation?

Calvin Candie: [Candie lets go of Broomhila's head] Yes, I do, Doctor. You see, under the laws of Chickasaw County, Broomhilda, here, is my property... and I can choose to do with MY PROPERTY... WHATEVER I SO DESIRE!

[Candie rubs his injured hand and smears the blood all over Broomhilda's face; she shrieks and moans in disgust and fear]

Calvin Candie: And if y'all think my price for this nigger here is too steep, what I'm gonna desire to do is...

[Candie causally sets his cigarette down; he suddenly but quickly picks up his hammer and violently grabs hold of Broomhilda's hair, slamming her face on the dinner table and raising the hammer above her head. Schultz jumps while Django rises up out of his seat]

Calvin Candie: TAKE THIS GODDAMNED HAMMER HERE, AND BEAT HER ASS TO DEATH WITH IT! RIGHT IN FRONT OF BOTH YA'LL! THEN WE CAN EXAMINE THE THREE DIMPLES INSIDE BROOMHILDA'S SKULL! NOW... WHAT'S IT GONNA BE DOC? HUH? WHAT'S IT GOING TO BE?

Dr. King Schultz: [Screams back nervously] May I lift my hands off the table in order to remove my billfold?

Calvin Candie: YES, you may!

[Schultz quickly retrieves his wallet out of his pocket and tosses it on the table; Stephen grabs it and starts counting the money]

Stephen: [Nods to Calvin with the cash] That twelve.

[Candie greedily smiles as Stephen drops the cash in front of him]

Calvin Candie: [Lets go of Broomhilda's head and slams the hammer loudly on the table] SOLD... TO THE MAN WITH EXCEPTIONAL BEARD, AND HIS UNEXCEPTIONAL NIGGER!

Calvin Candie: Everybody stop antagonizing my guest.

Calvin Candie: Hello. Stephen, my boy!

Stephen: [black house servant exiting the Big House] Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hello, my ass. Who dis nigger up on dat nag?

Calvin Candie: Aw, Stephen, you have nails for breakfast? What's the matter? Why you so ornery? You miss me? Huh?

Stephen: Oh, yes, sir. I miss you like a hawg miss slop. Like a baby miss mammy titty! I miss you like I misses a rock in my shoe! Now, I aks you, who dis nigger on dat nag?

Django: Hey, Snowball. You wanna know my name or the name of my horse, you ask me.

Stephen: Just who the hell you callin' 'Snowball,' hoss boy? I'll snatch yo black ass off dat nag down here in the mud so fast make yo head spin!

Calvin Candie: Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! Stephen! Stephen! Let's keep it funny. Django here's a freeman.

Stephen: Dis nigger here?

Calvin Candie: That nigger there. Let me at least introduce the two of you. Django, this is a another cheeky black bugger like yourself, Stephen. Stephen, this here is Django. You two oughta hate each other.

Stephen: Calvin, just who the hell is dis nigger you feel's the need to entertain?

Calvin Candie: Django, and his friend in gray here, Dr. Schultz, are customers. And they are our guests, Stephen. And you, you old, decrepit bastard, you are to show them every hospitality. You understand that?

Stephen: Yes, sir. Him I understands, but I don't know why I got to take lip off dis nigger.

Calvin Candie: You don't have to know why. Do you understand?

Stephen: Yes, sir. I understand.

Calvin Candie: Well, good. They're spending the night. Go open the guest bedrooms and get two ready.

Stephen: [mortified] He gawn stay in the Big House?

Calvin Candie: Stephen. He's a slaver. It's different.

Stephen: In the Big House?

Calvin Candie: Well, you got a problem with that?

Stephen: Aw, naw, naw. I ain't got no problem with it. If you ain't got no problem with burnin' the bed, the sheets, the pillowcase, and everything else when this black-ass motherfucker's gone!

Calvin Candie: That is my problem! They are mine to burn! Now your problem right now is making a good impression! And I want you to start solving that problem right now and get them goddamn rooms ready!

Stephen: Yes, sir, Monsieur Candie.

Calvin Candie: Go on, now.

Stephen: Cain't believe you brought a nigger to stay in the Big House. Yo daddy's rollin' over in his goddamn grave, right now. Brought a nigger to stay with us. What kinda shit is that?

Calvin Candie: Man, the lip on him! Whoo! He's getting worse and worse. Now, WHERE IS MY BEAUTIFUL SISTER?

Calvin Candie: How long was he lose?

Mr. Stonesipher: About, a day. Just the other night.

Calvin Candie: How far he get off of the property?

Mr. Stonesipher: About twenty miles off the prop. Pretty far considering that limp he's got though.

Calvin Candie: M-hmm.

Calvin Candie: I've heard tell about you. I heard you been telling everybody them mandingos ain't no damn good, ain't nothing nobody is selling is worth buying - I'm curious. What makes you such a mandingo expert?

Django: I'm curious what makes you so curious.

Calvin Candie: [about Django] He is a rambunctious sort, ain't he?

Calvin Candie: [after selling Broomhilda to Django and Schultz] Mr. Moguy!

Leonide Moguy: Yes, Calvin?

Calvin Candie: You make this gentlemen a receipt for $12,000, please.

[Candie stands up and casually examines his cut hand]

Calvin Candie: It was a pleasure doing business with y'all.

[pause]

Calvin Candie: Now gentlemen, if you care to join me in the parlor, we will be serving white cake...

Calvin Candie: [the library doors open revealing Calvin Candie, Stephen is sifting his brandy] What is the matter?

Stephen: [swirling his brandy glass, looks up] Them motherfuckers ain't here to buy no mandingos. They's here for that girl.

Calvin Candie: [to Django] So, bright boy, Moguy tells me you looked over my African flesh and you was none too impressed, huh?

Django: Not for top dollar.

Calvin Candie: Well, then, we got nothing more to talk about. You see, you want to buy a beat ass nigger from me, those are the beat ass niggers I want to sell, so...

Django: He don't wanna buy the niggers you wanna sell. He wants the nigger you don't wanna sell.

Calvin Candie: Well, I don't sell the niggers I don't wanna sell.

Dr. King Schultz: Well, you won't sell your best. You won't even sell your second best, but your third best? You don't wanna sell either, but if I made you an offer so ridiculous, you'd be forced to consider it?

[laughs]

Dr. King Schultz: Who knows what could happen?

Calvin Candie: And what do you consider "ridiculous?"

Dr. King Schultz: For a truly talented specimen, the right nigger? How much would you say, Django?

Django: ...12,000 dollars.

Calvin Candie: Gentleman, you had my curiosity, now you have my attention.