Being John Malkovich
Craig Schwartz: Can I buy you a drink, Maxine?
Maxine: Are you married?
Craig Schwartz: Yes, but enough about me.
Craig Schwartz: Do you know what a metaphysical can of worms this portal is?
Craig Schwartz: Hi. Do you know that I don't even know your name, or where you work?
Craig Schwartz: If I can guess your name in three tries, you have to come have a drink with me tonight.
Maxine: Why not?
Craig Schwartz: Okay. You look like a... BarrrRuuu - BellllLuuuu - Lllll - Carolllll - Taaaa-Sharrr - - SusaaannnEmmmmilllly - - Marr - laaarr - Maax... ine - M-M-M - Maxine?
Maxine: Yeah! Who told you?
Craig Schwartz: Nobody told me. That just came out. Isn't that odd?
Craig Schwartz: I like you, I don't know what it is about you.
Maxine: My tits?
Craig Schwartz: No! No, no, no.
Craig Schwartz: It's your energy, your attitude, you know, the way you carry yourself.
Maxine: You're not a fag, are you?
Craig Schwartz: No, I am really attracted to you.
Maxine: "No, I am really attracted to you", Christ, you are a fag. Okay, we can share recipes if you like, darling.
Craig Schwartz: No, no, I love your tits, love 'em, I wanna fondle 'em.
Maxine: Great, now we're getting somewhere. Not a chance.
Craig Schwartz: I've fallen in love, and this is what people who've fallen in love look like.
Maxine: Well, you picked the unrequited variety. It's very bad for the skin.
Craig Schwartz: I was thinking about what you were saying the other day, about the orientation film being bullshit.
Craig Schwartz: I think maybe you're on to something.
Maxine: And fifty other lines to get into a girl's pants.
Craig Schwartz: Nobody's looking for a puppeteer in today's wintry economic climate.
Craig Schwartz: [as Maxine Puppet] Tell me, Craig, why do you like puppetering?
Craig Schwartz: [as Craig Puppet] Well Maxine, I'm not sure exactly. Perhaps the idea of becoming someone else for a little while. Being inside another skin - thinking differently, moving differently, feeling differently.
Craig Schwartz: [as Maxine Puppet] Interesting, Craig...
Craig Schwartz: [watching the puppeteer with the giant puppet on TV] Gimmicky bastard!