Mike O'Donnell: Look, try to see things from my point of view. I'm extremely disappointed with my life!
Scarlett O'Donnell: I never asked you to marry me!
Mike O'Donnell: Yeah, but i did.
Scarlett O'Donnell: Well, you don't have to do me any favors then. We're not gonna hold each other back anymore. okay?
Mike O'Donnell: Scar...
Scarlett O'Donnell: I'll see you in court
Mike O'Donnell: [finds out that Scarlett is re-doing their yard] The divorce isn't final for another two weeks, so you have no right.
Scarlett O'Donnell: Really? I spent the last 18 years of my life listening to you whine about what you could have done without me and I have no right?
Mike O'Donnell: It's just that I put a lot of work in this yard.
Scarlett O'Donnell: Did you? Really? Like the barbecue pit? Yeah, the way I remember that is that you spent about an hour working on it and then you spent the next two days complaining about how if you had gone to college then you could have had hired someone else to do it.
Mike O'Donnell: I don't think it was a whole two days...
Scarlett O'Donnell: What about the hammock over here?
Mike O'Donnell: Yeah...
Scarlett O'Donnell: Yeah, I think you quit that one because you just decided not to try anymore.
Principal Jane Masterson: Are you peacocking?
Principal Jane Masterson: [Meeting principal Masterson for the first time] Hello...
Ned Gold: Hi... hello.
Principal Jane Masterson: [Ned won't let go of principal Masterson's hand] uhmm... I think we're good here.
Ned Gold: I think our hands just made a baby.
Mike O' Donnell: Excuse my dad, he's not used to talking... to attractive women.
Principal Jane Masterson: Well. thank you...
Mike O' Donnell: Mark...
Principal Jane Masterson: For that flattering yet inappropriate comment.
Ned Gold: Before we get started i think you should know that mark's a bastard.
Principal Jane Masterson: Excuse me?
Ned Gold: I had him out of wedlock so I'm single... and very rich.
Principal Jane Masterson: You can plunder my dungeon anytime.
Ned Freedman: I'll bring my longbow.
Scarlett O'Donnell: [Looks at Mark] Wow.
[Scarlett starts walking towards Mark]
Scarlett O'Donnell: Wow!
[Scarlett grabs Mark's face and starts playing with it]
Scarlett O'Donnell: You look just like my husband.
Scarlett O'Donnell: Wait, I need to smell him...
Mike O'Donnell: Nyomi.
Mike O'Donnell: I don't care.
Maggie O'Donnell: Oh I get it. You want to play games. Okay, I'll be the hungry lioness and you can be the baby gazelle!
Maggie O'Donnell: Why are you dating him? He's bullying your brother
Maggie O'Donnell: Who are you, my father?